Where Are My People?

Not “better” people. Not “perfect” people. Just people with that same energy… that same drive to create something, to learn something, to care about something more than the next swipe, the next game, the next mindless conversation.

Cause I keep landing in rooms where the main topics are:

• bedding women like it’s a game
• video games like it’s life or sumthin’
• TikTok/social media like it’s air
• “I’m tired” like it’s their identity

And I ain’t tryna judge nobody for what they like. I’m just sayin’…it don’t satisfy me

Feeling different ain’t the same as being wrong

So hear me out:

• Been wondering where my squad is that moves on the same wavelength as mine.
• Not “better” people. Not “perfect” people. Just people with that same hunger … that same thirst to make, to learn, to care about more than the next scroll, the next game, the next casual conversation.
• ‘Cause I keep winding up in spaces where the main conversations are:
• chasing women like it’s a sport
• video games like they’re my life purpose
• TikTok/social media like they’re my oxygen
• “I’m tired” like it’s their personality
• And I ain’t here to judge nobody on what they enjoy. I’m just saying…it ain’t fulfilling me

Ok so, lowkey feel like I got a specific type of loneliness goin on. Bein surrounded by people but feelin like im the only one still awake. Makes me question myself:

• Aint I too intense?
• Am I doin too much?
• Why do I care so hard?

But then I look at what Im buildin, and I remember: caring hard is the whole point. If you dont care, you dont create. If you dont create, you just consume.

The part that hurts: I give hours and get minutes

Here’s what keeps happenin.

I’ll sit and listen to someone talk for hours ’bout their problems, their drama, their loop, their same story. I hold space. I nod. I try to understand.

Then when its my turn – when I start talkin about what Im workin on, what Im dreamin about, what Im tryna turn into real life – I get minutes.

Ok so, lowkey feel like I gotta say somethin ’bout these people. Ain’t that they’re bad or nothin’, js? Sometimes it’s just that they can’t really get where im comin from, you know? Or they dunno how to keep a conversation going without makin it all about themselves.

Sometimes they interrupt when I’m talkin’. Sometimes they change the subject on me real quick. And sometimes, they “one-up” with some irrelevant story like my words ain’t even important. It’s like my thoughts are just background noise to ’em or smth.

And here’s where it gets annoying — I find myself doin this thing I hate: shrinkin’, js! Just so the peace don’t get rocked. But, tbh, I ain’t tryin to ignore these people. What I really wanna is for ’em to respect me, you like?

I don’t want to be ignored… I want them to listen

This is crucial: I ain’t tryin to cut everyone off. These are my people. My family. Folks I care about. But love doesn’t mean that they get unlimited access, right?

If they care ’bout me, they should respect:

• my time (like, seriously)
• my focus (I’m tryin to think here!)
• my goals (important stuff, people)
• my energy (’cause I ain’t got no spare batteries)

So hear me out: it’s not ’bout bein mean or nothin’. It’s ’bout respect. And if you wanna be in my life, you gotta show that you care ’bout the things that matter to me. And right now, one of those things is me getting heard, js!

Ok so, lowkey feel like I’ve been learning a big lesson ’bout respect rn. It ain’t ’bout agreeing with my interests, it’s ’bout letting me finish a thought, y’know?

Shadow Sovereign

[Shadow Sovereign]

Building Digital Dreamscape in public. One episode at a time.

It’s not cool when people treat my passions like they’re some kinda commercial break until they can get back to their storyline. So I been tryna figure out how to change that up.

I ain’t learning to become colder, nah. That ain’t it. Instead, I’m learning to be clearer. I can’t keep giving people my full attention if they only offer me partial in return. That just turns me into a resource instead of a friend, and I don’t wanna be that.

So I been tryna practice some small boundaries:

*Giving them space:If someone’s not interested in what I got to say, I gon let ’em have it. I ain’t gonna force my passions on ’em.
*Setting limits:I wanna make sure I’m not pouring all my energy into people who don’t really care about me or what I got goin on. I gotta save some for myself, you know?

*Being true to myself:At the end of the day, it’s important to stay true to who I am and what I believe in. I ain’t gonna change myself just to fit into someone else’s idea of how I should be.

Peepin’ the time-boxers.When someone starts loopin’, I’ll say “hey, got 10 mins left, then gotta get back to work.”

Nah shrinkin’.If I’m talkin’ bout something that matters, and they interrupt or switch topics, I’ll say “hold up, let me finish this thought first.”

Preservin’ the vibe.If someone only hits me up when they need sth, I’m learnin’ to say “can’t help you right now” without feeling guilty.

Lowkey think my tribe is missin’ I just ain’t found their spot yet

Maybe the people who operate like me aren’t in the spaces I keep ending up in.

Maybe they’re:
Buildin’ something at 2am
Streamin’ their process
Writin’ code or content
Actual care about sth

Lowkey think I gotta roll where the builders are. Where the creators are. Where the people who put in hard work are.

The question ain’t really “where are my people?”

It’s more like:am I down to step up where they actually at?

Am I down to:
Build in the open, even if it’s a mess?
Stream my process, even if it’s imperfect as hell?
Show up consistently, even when it feels impossible?
Create the space that I wish already existed?

Cause maybe my people are just waitin’ for me to show up. Maybe they’re building the same thing I am. Maybe they’re askin’ the same questions.

Maybe they’re just waitin’ for someone else to take the first step.

So here I am, tryna go first.

Where are you at?